Fracix

"I'm in hell of my own design"

Last updated: 03/04/2026
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banner art by @uefiser on twitter

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General

Notice: Certain information might be outdated by weeks because i dont check everything too often

(basically a huge biography kind of thing dump, alot of personal shit meant to describe myself)
note: when i quote something its usually because i found someone else's words that i thought fit or describe me very well but i didnt come up with it myself- i am just a bisexual male guy
- i could write this in majority of these lines, I'm Trying My Best.
- i tend to get into stupid arguments, be careless, say things that dont mean much to me but mean way more to someone else and easily offend someone
- if im active somewhere or im comfortable with someone i like i will share random things with them even if i dont get any response, though i crave getting said response
- I tend to offend people very easily without knowing why i offended them
- I am quite weak mentally, easy to overwhelm, some things make me tear up easily, i can break under any amount of pressure easily
- i just want to help others, but most of the time i sound offensive or intrusive
- getting any sort of response or a comment to random things i send or do matters to me alot even though sometimes i will react negatively
- i can be quite stubborn at times
- i used to do art since 3rd december 2023 but i kinda fell out of it and i cant get back to it again
- my height is around 5'10 or 5'11 (178-180cm), pretty average here, although I wish i was shorter
- I dont really care about any sort of holidays like christmas, halloween, easter etc. it doesnt appeal to me
- i never fit in anywhere
- i try my best to understand other people's perspective, i think about it a lot
- i feel like most of the time I get nothing in return for the good things i do, one-ways
- i often express my feelings and thoughts to others when they cant even understand them and i cant explain them too well either.
- im really bad at explaining things, i will stutter and mumble alot and it may not be comprehensible or i might just give up and try another methods of communication, but likely just stop talking all together because i fail so much
- i like praising other people i find cool in some way for literally anything, praising artists especially
- i dislike being an annoyance to anyone i am talking to or doing stuff with and i am deeply sorry for anything that might have seemed like i did it in a negative manner because really i didnt mean it, i dont have negative intentions, only towards bad people, i dont think i talk with bad people so i dont have bad intentions for them
- tell me about my mistakes and faults, please explain them, please just explain things to me
- i love music i just cant keep quiet most of the time i just need something playing in the background, a video atleast
- i really hate saying things that might be false in any sort of way, i often build my sentences in a way that isnt either confirming or denying anything, I try my best to be truthful and clear but often it leads to be more confusing than anything
- this was written by someone else but i can relate to it a hell ton: "I think people still don't look at games as art nearly enough, even though the experiences they create are very interesting. Whether I am into "thinking" or "philosophy" is an odd question to answer since I don't know how much other people think about certain things. If I had to guess, I try to analyze why things happen more than the average person, but not to some extreme degree. There's simply far too much to life that I believe people would benefit from experiencing - be it knowledge or art." - Rock6Sixes on youtube
- most of the time irl i prefer being alone and even if i wanted to be with someone i dont have people to be with
- i spend alot of time on discord, i dont really talk in servers, i just talk to 1-3 people but mostly just one person, that number shrinks
- sometimes i just need to be alone probably, so i dont cause harm to others
- i wish to be able to support others emotionally so they feel better, like saving people but no i cant really do that
- i overthink things a lot, like too much
- when speaking english with strangers over the internet its most of the time over text but if i know the people better i may try voice although i am bad at it. im not native in english and im really bad at verbal communication and i stutter and mumble and i feel like im incomprehensible, atleast my microphones make me feel like it
- i often tend to build up curiousity with how i talk, can have negative consequences
- im quite patient but some repeating behaviours and situations can really get on my nerves, i CAN be frustrated but most of the time im empty
- i hate being egoistic in any way i try my best not to be, feels really bad, can joke about it though
- i may be too attention seeking sometimes, maybe reasonably so
- while casually writing while chatting with people in english on the internet i may use shortened version of words, stick sentences together without a period or a comma, not add question marks to questions and not put capital letters at the start of sentences as you can tell. also if i send a random letter responding to you im probably acknowledging what you just sent but i dont know any way to respond while still wanting to show you that i care, im sorry.
- i appreciate honesty of other people more than anything, hurts sometimes though
- i may be sometimes overwhelming, i need to shut up
- i tend to get very upset and tell myself i want to die over the mildest of inconveniences
- "you take things too close to heart"
- im mainly introverted, not hard to figure out
- i like being described by others, but im stupid and will be upset if im not described in a way i want
- if i do a mistake once or twice i should learn to not repeat it, most of the time
- i have been diagnosed with autism, its also probably very likely i have something like bpd or adhd
- i dont feel like there are many people like me in the world
- a specialty of my brain that i could mention is analyzing very well and analyzing like straight up anything. can unnecessarily distract me at times, or be mean when criticising someone or something because of it
- quite soft, lenient and forgiving
- i struggle with loneliness but ive gotten kinda used to it which is sad, i still desire friends, which i keep on losing because of how i just am
- while im bisexual i still think i prefer men more
- quite avoidant and socially awkward, most of the time?
- i really like doing photography, i always take pictures of good views
- "i need very clear and honest communication especially if i ask about something because im terrible at inferring anything"
- "tell me if im ever a bit too much"
- please understand that sometimes i go through a lot mentally and then i may not be myself for a bit, any outbursts could be excused but if you choose to be permanently upset at me over an outburst i had out of depression or some mental issue then that's valid i guess
- when i feel bad dont take anything i say for granted
- my parents say I'm smart, i dont know
- when my brain wants to find a solution and solve something but its hopeless and cant do it, it gets very upset
- I have a pretty healthy sleep schedule, in comparison to most people
- i always felt like the odd one out and like theres something off with me, my entire life
- Avoidant, "individual is socially inhibited, feels inadequate, and is oversensitive to criticism. Core issue is an inability to resolve their codependent need for connection with their codependent fear of rejection and/or discomfort/anxiety around others."
- Paranoid, "individual shows a generalized pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and observable emotions, and significant impulsiveness. Core issue is an inability to regulate emotions."
- Borderline, "individual generally tends to interpret the actions of others as threatening; preoccupied with suspiciousness/paranoia. They are stuck between their need for others and their mistrust of others."
- Dependant "individual shows an extreme need to be taken care of that leads to fears of separation, and passive and clinging behavior. Core issue is the need to be parented by others (i.e. avoid growing up / becoming self-sufficient)."
- "I love being alone, but I hate being lonely"
- i require reassurance from people im around or talking to
- "unusually self aware"
- if i talk around you or with you alot and share alot of things with you, thats when you can tell im feeling comfortable with you
- it doesn't take that much to make me upset, annoyed or fed up.
- i enjoy doing some video making sometimes, but its nothing actually good
- i dont feel content with my body
- I have dysgraphia, so in other words my handwriting is always ugly, i also hold pens and pencils in a weird way that other people dont, my fingers hurt
- "sometimes when talking about things, it stresses me the fuck out when people I like have the polar opposite opinion of me"
- "expressing and articulating myself has been very difficult, oftentimes what i want to say doesnt come out at all
communication is a struggle and getting whats in my brain out of my mouth is easier said than done, especially on the fly"
- "ive always struggled with my emotions, sensitivity to certain feelings, situations and senses, and how i understand myself and understand others
it takes me a bit longer to process emotions and information given to me"
- i tend to write very long sentences which are very complicated and might in the end not make sense at all, this page says enough
- i used to go to a psychologist once but it was in vain
- i associate my friends with fictional characters and colors and species, my brain works basically entirely on correlation
- i experience something called selective mutism, words that i want to say might just not leave my mouth out of stress, fear and any other feelings
- i am quite a picky eater, i have a set amount of foods i usually eat and i dont rly try new things much
- i have tendencies to have my attention go many different ways during various activities, i get lost in my mind and stop focusing on what im supposed to focus on which is bad

- i've been fixated on a bunch of things when i was growing up, first it was space and stuff, then tanks and most recently firearms but that kinda faded and i just switch between fixations
- i like complimenting certain people i like at random
- its really hard to get me into some specific things
- i have relationship experience, it is a burden.
- I often do things that unintentionally help others and never get a word for it, no thank you, no appreciation, no nothing. I literally and utterly glue things together so i make others feel better, but that goes underappreciated.
- i experience a lot of something called "Selective Mutism"
- i might be ignorant (or maybe not just might, but i am)
- eager to help people pleaser that does more harm to self and others than good to anyone
- i have a soft spot for animals
- i work impulsively, to do something i need to feel an urge to do it out of nowhere
- i wish to be left alone but i yearn for attention and care all at once
- im really autistic about art, any sort of creative things
- i might have some kind of hypersexuality, feels shit being aware of it, i regret the feeling of being horny, quite alot, it fills me with guilt like im so so disgusting
- i use loud music to isolate myself from my environment and at times even my mind
- i have huge issues with jealousy and envying others, one of the top things leading to mood shifts
- i've done self harm before, not to any severe degree or anything.
- i'm self destructive, easy to tell
- i overexaggerate things a lot
- im very subconsciously dismissive, its a big deal and it happens to make me unable to change to be a better person at many things that are quite important
- i think i've experienced a lot of something called "emotional neglect", I feel estranged from my family, if any of them died i wouldn't shed a single tear, i often don't feel loved even if I know I am. i feel empty and numb
- i like level editing in games if its accessible enough to me, i like playing with gimmicks in games, my favorite thing
- social status is really bad
- i dont really have "favorites" in anything
- i crave physical touch but i have a complete zero of it and ive basically never received any from anyone, besides one time that is one huge case of trauma for me nowadays
- my typing speed varies around 100-120 wpm, i kinda get faster every year
- i know basics of html coding, from school
- i use krita for drawing, gimp and paint.net for basic image editing, vlc as a media player (and as a spotify replacement on mobile), sharex for screenshots, flux for reducing eyestrain from my monitor, medal to record my games and librewolf browser to browse the internet
- im bad at cleaning, the amount of times ive been scolded for not cleaning well enough or i had problems because i did something wrong is huge
- im genuinely terrible at counting, i tend to mess up by 1 or 2 when counting numbers bigger than 10, seriously
- i dont even remember the full english alphabet
- very straight forward and direct, never making things up unless joking
- i CANNOT answer questions like: "What games do you play?" "What music do you like?" "What movies do you like?" "What are your hobbies?" "What is your favorite [insert something here]?". I just cant.
- i dislike being associated with basically any groups, such as game fandoms, games i played, being a furry, my nationality etc. i dont like getting attention JUST because i am one of those things or something. i am just a person
- i can be REALLY apathetic when feeling down
- i need to be asked but most of the time i give very unsatisfying and petty answers
- i experience alot of existential ambivelance, likely bpd
- i think i suffer high functioning depression, experiencing all the horrible mental symptons of the depression and some physical but unintentionally masking it all the time, depression itself not impacting my daily life at all besides making me seem more cold which literally no one cares about. i just appear "put together" to people around me irl for some reason even though im in shambles at all times.
- i fear not knowing what others expect of me

the General section currently consists of around ~2536 words as of the latest page update

the page was made

ago

i hope you enjoyed reading to know more about me... or something...