About me, Fracix
"I'm in hell of my own design"
Last updated: 21/11/2025
banner art by @uefiser on twitter
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General
Do not take it for granted, i RARELY update this, there MAY and WILL be outdated and innacurate things.
(basically a huge biography kind of thing dump, alot of personal shit meant to describe myself)
note: when i quote something its usually because i found someone else's words that i thought fit or describe me very well but i didnt come up with it myself- I am just a guy, wish i had a better body though
- I tend to get into stupid arguments, be careless, say things that dont mean much to me but mean way more to someone else and easily offend someone. I am most of the time very honest but the curse of being honest is that truth hurts, it may be hard to tell sometimes but i just can say things without knowing the consequences. trying my best to wrap my head around it and avoid those issues though.
- if im active somewhere or im comfortable with someone i will very likely send and say random bullshit they dont care about and probably wont respond to but i sometimes just expect a response because i like sharing and such
- I tend to offend people very easily without knowing why i offended them
- I am quite weak mentally, easy to overwhelm, some things make me tear up easily, i can break under any amount of pressure easily, calm under pressure but paranoid when im supposed to be calm..?
- i just want to help others, but most of the time it sounds offensive or intrusive
- getting any sort of response or a comment to random things im sending matters to me alot, i appreciate it dearly. the attention...
- I can be quite stubborn at times
- i used to do art since 3rd december 2023 but i kinda fell out of it and i cant get back to it again, unfortunate. you can find some on my twitter
- my height is around 5'10 or 5'11 (178-180cm), pretty average here, although I wish i was shorter. also im mildly overweight
- I dont really care about any sort of holidays like christmas, halloween, easter etc. it doesnt appeal to me, free time is what it is
- i never fit in
- i try my best to understand other people's perspective, i think about it a lot
- i feel like most of the time I get nothing in return for the good things i do, one-ways
- i often express my feelings and thoughts to others when they cant even understand them and i cant explain them too well either.
- about that, im really bad at explaining things, i will stutter and mumble alot and it may not be comprehensible or i might just give up and try another methods of communication, but likely just stop talking all together because i fail so much
- i like praising other people i find cool in some way for literally anything, praising artists and any sort of creativity because i know it feels nice to be praised and i really appreciate their art.
- i dislike being an annoyance to anyone i am talking to or doing stuff with and i am deeply sorry for anything that might have seemed like i did it in a negative manner because really i didnt mean it
- tell me about my mistakes and faults, please explain them
- i love music i just cant keep quiet most of the time i just need something playing in the background a video atleast
- i really hate saying things that might be false in any sort of way, i often build my sentences in a way that isnt either confirming or denying anything, I try my best to be truthful and clear but often it leads to be more confusing than anything
- i like making sounds while listening to music, silly little fidgeting
- this was written by someone else but i can relate to it a hell ton: "I think people still don't look at games as art nearly enough, even though the experiences they create are very interesting. Whether I am into "thinking" or "philosophy" is an odd question to answer since I don't know how much other people think about certain things. If I had to guess, I try to analyze why things happen more than the average person, but not to some extreme degree. There's simply far too much to life that I believe people would benefit from experiencing - be it knowledge or art." - Rock6Sixes on youtube, check him out. Im just really really really analytical okay.
- most of the time irl i prefer being alone and even if i wanted to be with someone i dont have people to be with
- i spend alot of time on discord, i dont really talk in servers, i just talk to 1-3 people but mostly just one person, unfortunate
- sometimes i just need to be alone probably, so i dont cause harm to others and i cant attempt to distract myself
- i wish to be able to support others emotionally so they feel better, like saving people but no i cant really do that
- i overthink things alot, like too much
- when speaking english with strangers over the internet its most of the time over text but if i know the people better i may try voice although i am bad at it. im not native in english and im really bad at verbal communication and i stutter and mumble and i feel like im incomprehensible
- i often tend to build up curiousity with how i talk, which may result in bad situations sometimes
- im quite patient but some repeating things can really get on my nerves, i CAN be frustrated but most of the time im empty
- i hate being egoistic in any way i try my best not to be, feels really bad, can joke about it though
- i may be too attention seeking sometimes, maybe reasonably so
- while casually writing while chatting with people in english on the internet i may use shortened version of words, stick sentences together without a period or a comma, not add question marks to questions and not put capital letters at the start of sentences as you can tell. pretty much my casual writing style, if its brings you trouble then im sorry
- i appreciate honesty of other people more than anything, hurts sometimes though
- i may be sometimes overwhelming and all you need to do is tell me to stop, shut up and leave you alone, dont be afraid to do so
- i tend to get very upset and tell myself i want to die over the mildest of inconveniences
- "you take things too close to heart"
- im mainly introverted, not hard to figure out
- i like being described by others, but im stupid and will be upset if im not described in a way i want
- if i do a mistake once or twice i should learn to not repeat it, most of the time
- very likely that I have adhd, autism or bpd, or maybe a couple at once. I need diagnosis
- i dont feel like there are many people like me in the world
- a specialty of my brain that i could mention is analyzing very well and analyzing like straight up anything. while looking at art i can illustrate in my brain how everything was made to look, how the process went, how the layers look. while listening to music my brain can illustrate the seperate layers and when they dissapear or reappear and when new ones are added and such. these are the best examples i can give just now but i analyze pretty much everything i see or hear and probably overcomplicate it while doing so too. its cool but it overwhelms my brain sometimes and drags the attention when its needed somewhere else
- to me being appreciated/cared/noticed for are the best feelings ever, appreciate things i do for you and others, theyre just for you
- quite soft, lenient and forgiving
- i struggle with loneliness but ive gotten kinda used to it which is sad, i still desire friends
- im bisexual but i definetely prefer men more (its mostly about the genitalia and personal experience)
- quite avoidant and socially awkward
- i really like doing photography
- "i need very clear and honest communication especially if i ask about something because im terrible at inferring anything"
- "tell me if im ever a bit too much"
- please understand that sometimes i go through a lot mentally and then i may not be myself for a bit, i get back to myself later on but please go easy on me even if i dont.
- when i feel bad dont take anything i say for granted
- my parents say I'm smart, am i? im just obedient
- when my brain wants to find a solution and solve something but its hopeless and cant do it, it gets very upset and my mood shifts
- I have a pretty healthy sleep schedule, always sleeping around 7-9h, its kinda odd that i am this healthy in terms of sleep as someone that's severly depressed
- always felt like theres something wrong with me mentally yet i am not diagnosed or nobody could tell, no one points it out.
- Avoidant "individual is socially inhibited, feels inadequate, and is oversensitive to criticism. Core issue is an inability to resolve their codependent need for connection with their codependent fear of rejection and/or discomfort/anxiety around others."
- Paranoid "individual shows a generalized pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and observable emotions, and significant impulsiveness. Core issue is an inability to regulate emotions."
- Borderline "individual generally tends to interpret the actions of others as threatening; preoccupied with suspiciousness/paranoia. They are stuck between their need for others and their mistrust of others."
- Dependant "individual shows an extreme need to be taken care of that leads to fears of separation, and passive and clinging behavior. Core issue is the need to be parented by others (i.e. avoid growing up / becoming self-sufficient)."
- "I love being alone, but I hate being lonely"
- i require reassurance from others, i dont get it much though
- "unusually self aware"
- i am generally a quick eater, but because of that i get stomachaches
- if i talk around you or with you alot and share alot of things with you, thats when you can tell im feeling very comfortable with you
- "submissive and gentle"
- it doesn't take that much to make me upset, annoyed or fed up.
- i enjoy doing some video making sometimes, i have a youtube channel for that
- i think i feel body dysmorphia
- I have dysgraphia, so in other words my handwriting is always ugly, i also hold the pen in a specific way that hurts my hand more and i cant really change it. its whatever, my handwriting is readable if you actually care to try and read it though.
- i have very shaky hands, unsure why. to me it seems like my muscles get quickly tired after literally any activity and start shaking although i can keep on going, yeah im very unfit
- "sometimes when talking about things, it stresses me the fuck out when people I like have the polar opposite opinion of me"
- "expressing and articulating myself has been very difficult, oftentimes what i want to say doesnt come out at all
communication is a struggle and getting whats in my brain out of my mouth is easier said than done, especially on the fly"
- "ive always struggled with my emotions, sensitivity to certain feelings, situations and senses, and how i understand myself and understand others
it takes me a bit longer to process emotions and information given to me"
- i tend to write very long sentences which are very complicated and might in the end not make sense at all, can you tell by how i wrote this page?
- i used to go to a psychologist and take anti depressants, but i stopped doing it since it didnt help at all, potentially regrettable but i dont believe he could help me anyway
- i LOVE examining and analysing EVERYTHING, especially other's creations like art and such things. im very very good at doing that type of stuff, i can easily tell the person what flaws and upsides there are to their work, i guess i just criticise alot, its a flaw sometimes
- i associate my friends with fictional characters and colors and species
- whenever i should say something i want to say something theres a good chance i might just... be afraid to do so..? i cant exactly describe the feeling but i just can't spit out what i want to say out of myself often, for example a teacher at school asks me a question and i think i know the answer but im not sure at all so i just awkwardly wait in silence hoping for any clue telling me if im right or not and then after all of that it appears that i was correct in my mind and i was sitting silent for no reason. it kinda sucks, like some kind of Ptsd where im afraid to say something because in the past i got mocked or felt bad for saying something incorrectly and it ended up the way it did? i have no idea, that might be called selective mutism
- i am quite a picky eater, i have a set amount of foods i usually eat and i dont rly try new things much, i eat less and less various food every year
- i have tendencies to have my attention go many different ways during various activities, i get lost in my mind and stop focusing on what im supposed to focus on which is bad
- i've been fixated on a bunch of things when i was growing up, first it was space and stuff, then tanks and most recently firearms but that kinda faded and i just switch between fixations
- i like complimenting certain people i like at random (even if i dont talk with them much) purely to show my appreciation for their being
- its really hard to get me into some specific things (even if i kinda like them) but once im into something you cant pry me away from it, same with not being able to pry me away from well.. not doing anything. Hard to Force me to do things although i require Force.
- i have relationship experience, sometimes a sad thing
- I often do things that unintentionally help others and never get a word for it, no thank you, no appreciation, no nothing. I literally and utterly glue things together so i make others feel better, but that goes underappreciated.
- i experience ALOT of something called "Selective Mutism" (by definition its an anxiety disorder characterized by someone's inability to speak in certain social settings, even though they can communicate normally in other situations)
- i might be ignorant (or maybe not just might but i am)
- compassionate, eager to help people pleaser that does more harm to self and others than good to anyone
- i have a soft spot for animals
- i work impulsively and some things are just out of my control it feels like
- i tend to feel like screaming "LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASEE" but also thinking "Please be with me..." at the same exact time, it doesnt really make sense
- im CLEARLY really really autistic about art, any sort of creative things and a decent bit about firearms and computers.
- i have a chronic porn addiction
- i might have some kind of hypersexuality, feels shit being aware of it, i regret the feeling of being horny, quite alot, it fills me with guilt like im so so disgusting
- i use loud music to isolate myself from my environment and at times even my mind
- i have huge issues with jealousy and envying others and its one of the things that happen quite often and lead to me feeling shit
- i've done self harm before, not to any severe degree or anything. wounds i've inflicted upon myself
were very surface level and it was basically a short lived pain to take the edge off and then hide it for a bit later, i dont really do it much at all but i just did in the past a little bit
- im self destructive
- i overexaggerate things alot
- im very subconsciously dismissive (or ignorant im not sure), its a big deal and it happens to make me unable to change to be a better person at many things that are quite important
- i think i've experienced a lot of something called "emotional neglect", I feel estranged from my family, if any of them died i wouldn't shed a single tear, i often don't feel loved even if I know I am. they kinda fail at providing me comfort and happiness. maybe its my fault i dont know
- i pick my nose even though i know i shouldn't
- i like level editing in games if its accessible enough to me, i made some levels in geometry dash, plazma burst 2, tanks the crusades and such. i think i cant really do the same in rhythm games but i like playing with gimmicks in games, my favorite thing
- my social status is kinda rough, most of the time i barely have anyone, if im in a relationship currently i basically talk to just one person and everyone feels like an unimportant blur, is it my fault, probably
- i cant swim
- i dont really have "favorites" in anything, when people ask what games you play? what music you listen to? what do you do as a hobby? etc, i cant answer. whats your favorite game? cant answer. whats your fav food? cant answer.
- i attend an IT based high school, I have no plans for my future and there's no light ahead of me
- i crave physical touch but i have a complete zero of it, physical touch would mean alot to me, from a person i love
- my most used preferred colors in things are usually black, blue, green, blurple/purple
- i have an innate skin disease called "keratosis pilaris", its completely harmless and it just makes my skin uglier along with making stuff similiar to pimples appear more often and across my entire body, especially on my thighs, butt and arms
- my eye color is "blue gray", i think i have it from my mom
- my typing speed varies around 100-120 wpm, i kinda get faster every year
- i know basics of html coding, from school
- i use krita for drawing, gimp and paint.net for basic image editing, vlc as a media player (and as a spotify replacement on mobile), sharex for screenshots, flux for reducing eyestrain from my monitor, medal to record my games and librewolf browser to browse the internet
- im bad at cleaning, the amount of times ive been scolded for not cleaning well enough or i had problems because i did something wrong is huge
- im genuinely terrible at counting, i tend to mess up by 1 or 2 when counting numbers bigger than 10, seriously
- i dont even remember the full english alphabet
- very straight forward and direct, never making things up unless joking
- i CANNOT answer questions like: "What games do you play?" "What music do you like?" "What movies do you like?" "What are your hobbies?" "What is your favorite [insert something here]?". I just cant.
- i dislike being associated with basically any groups, such as game fandoms, games i played, being a furry, my nationality etc. i dont like getting attention JUST because i am one of those things or something. i am just a person
- i can be REALLY apathetic when feeling down
- i need to be asked but most of the time i give very unsatisfying and petty answers
- i experience alot of existential ambivelance, likely bpd