About me, Fracix
"I can't beat it."
Last updated: 26/07/2025
(btw the banner is outdated, made in april 2024 and i need to update it)
Socials
General
(basically a huge biography kind of thing dump, alot of personal shit meant to describe myself)
note: when i quote something its usually because i found someone else's words that i thought fit or describe me very well but i didnt come up with it myself- I am a guy, although dysphoric a little, leaning towards non-binary'ness but not really.
- I tend to get into stupid arguments, be careless, say things that dont mean much to me but mean way more to someone else and easily offend someone. I am most of the time very honest but the curse of being honest is that truth hurts, it may be hard to tell sometimes but i just can say things without knowing the consequences. trying my best to wrap my head around it and avoid those issues though.
- if im active somewhere or im comfortable with someone i will very likely send and say random bullshit they dont care about and probably wont respond to but i sometimes just expect a response because i like sharing and such
- I tend to offend people very easily without knowing why i offended them
- I am quite weak mentally, easy to overwhelm, some things make me tear up easily, i can break under any amount of pressure easily
- I want to help, i want to solve problems, i try my best to do it, it fuels me.
- getting any sort of response or a comment to random things im sending matters to me alot, i appreciate it dearly. the attention...
- I can be quite stubborn at times
- i actually do some art (check socials) since 3rd december 2023, just writing a date so i dont forget
- my height is around 5'10 or 5'11 (178-184cm), pretty average around where i live, although I would rather to be shorter. also im mildly overweight
- I dont really care about any sort of holidays like christmas, halloween, easter etc. it doesnt appeal to me, free time is what it is
- extraordinary... (?)
- i can be very philosophical out of nowhere sometimes
- i try my best to understand other person's perspective, trust me i do (most of the time...)
- i feel like most of the time I get nothing in return for the good things i do, one-ways
- i often express my feelings and thoughts to others when they cant even understand them and i cant explain them too well either.
- about that, im really bad at explaining things, i will stutter and mumble alot and it may not be comprehensible or i might just give up and try another methods
- i like praising other people i find cool in some way for literally anything, praising artists and any sort of creativity because i know it feels nice to be praised. i do it more when im feeling bad myself
- i dislike being an annoyance to anyone i am talking to or doing stuff with and i am deeply sorry for anything that might have seemed like i did it in a negative manner because really i didnt mean it
- tell me about my mistakes and faults, please explain them
- i listen to music alot like alot alot, i need something playing all the time or else i will start making sounds myself
- i really hate saying things that might be false in any sort of way, i often build my sentences in a way that isnt either confirming or denying anything, I try my best to be truthful and clear but often it leads to be more confusing than anything
- i like making sounds while listening to music, silly little fidgeting
- this was written by someone else but i can relate to it a hell ton: "I think people still don't look at games as art nearly enough, even though the experiences they create are very interesting. Whether I am into "thinking" or "philosophy" is an odd question to answer since I don't know how much other people think about certain things. If I had to guess, I try to analyze why things happen more than the average person, but not to some extreme degree. There's simply far too much to life that I believe people would benefit from experiencing - be it knowledge or art." - Rock6Sixes on youtube, check him out. Im just really really really analytical okay.
- most of the time irl i prefer being alone and even if i wanted to be with someone i dont have people to be with
- i spend alot of time on discord, hard to make good friends
- sometimes i just need some peace and quiet, some sort of comfort... doesnt have to be necessarily alone
- i love supporting others emotionally when they are feeling awful themselves, the only problem being when i feel awful myself
- i overthink things alot
- when speaking english with strangers over the internet its most of the time over text but if i know the people better i may try voice although i am bad at it (since im not a native english speaker and im generally bad at verbal speaking most of the time)
- i often tend to build up curiousity with how i talk, which may result in bad situations sometimes
- quite patient (i think so atleast..?) but always to an extent
- i hate being egoistic in any way i try my best not to be, feels really bad, can joke about it though
- my nickname Fracix shortened is just Frac, although people call me many names, Fraccy, Fraxy and so on. personally i find it cute
- sorry if i am "clingy", is it a bad thing? i do feel like i need to cling atleast a little bit...
- while casually writing while chatting with people in english on the internet i may use shortened version of words, stick sentences together without a period or a comma, not add question marks to questions and not put capital letters at the start of sentences as you can tell. pretty much my casual writing style, if its brings you trouble then im sorry
- i really enjoy when people im talking with are honest, it may sometimes hurt a bit but its honestly better than avoidance i think.
- sorry if i am sometimes overwhelming, just please tell me if i should stop or give you some space, its okay to ask (really!!!).
- i tend to very easily get upset over the slightest inconvenience, at times i will straight up tell myself to die and be suicidal for a bit just because of some very mild thing that doesnt matter for longer than a few minutes
- people sometimes tell me "you take things too close to heart", I dont doubt its true.
- im mainly introverted, not hard to figure out
- im a furry, not really ashamed of it, became one in february 2024 i think? just something i enjoy but i try not to shove it everywhere
- i like being described by others, i dont get that often and i really appreciate it if i do, its really nice because of how odd i feel about myself
- i try learning from my mistakes, apologising for doing them, correcting myself for them and acknowledging i did them at all, when im in a stable enough mindset of course.
- very likely that I have adhd, autism or bpd, or maybe a couple at once. I need diagnosis
- i often get feelings that I dont have people to relate to, there are people in some ways similiar but in some ways not the same, just lacking certain things i see as quite important and i've never encountered anyone be like this, be me. where are the other Fracixes? i mean to be honest ive had some people i related to a decent bit but some behaviours of mine are just never seen anywhere else at all
- a specialty of my brain that i could mention is analyzing very well and analyzing like straight up anything. while looking at art i can illustrate in my brain how everything was made to look, how the process went, how the layers look. while listening to music my brain can illustrate the seperate layers and when they dissapear or reappear and when new ones are added and such. these are the best examples i can give just now but i analyze pretty much everything i see or hear and probably overcomplicate it while doing so too. its cool but it overwhelms my brain sometimes and drags the attention when its needed somewhere else
- i may seem attention seeking sometimes, no one says i am so im unsure
- to me being appreciated/cared/noticed for are the best feelings ever, if i dont get them enough i try my best to gift them to someone else, take care out there because there always are people who care for you and appreciate you
- my mind can sometimes gets overwhelmed with thoughts and processes i have hard time explaining to others and its just a lot for me, in such cases i just need a break to forget whats not important and to clear up my thoughts because it is a goddamn mess, distractions are important in these kind of situations
- quite soft, lenient and forgiving
- lonely
- im bisexual but i definetely prefer men more (its mostly about the genitalia and personal experience to be honest)
- quite shy and socially awkward
- i really like doing photography, i also do a lot of selfies, it likely boosts my confidence and self awareness but can also work the opposite way
- "i need very clear and honest communication especially if i ask about something because im terrible at inferring anything"
- "tell me if im ever a bit too much"
- please understand that sometimes i go through a lot mentally and then i may not be myself for a bit, i get back to myself later on but please go easy on me even if i dont.
- when i feel bad dont take anything i say for granted
- my parents say I'm smart so therefore I am.
- when my brain wants to find a solution and solve something but its hopeless and cant do it, it gets very upset and my mood shifts
- i appreciate your honesty and attention a lot, and i mean a lot
- I have a pretty healthy sleep schedule, always sleeping around 7-9h, its kinda odd that i am this healthy in terms of sleep as someone that's likely neurodivergent and depressed
- always felt like theres something wrong with me mentally yet i am not diagnosed or nobody could tell, no one points it out.
- Avoidant "individual is socially inhibited, feels inadequate, and is oversensitive to criticism. Core issue is an inability to resolve their codependent need for connection with their codependent fear of rejection and/or discomfort/anxiety around others."
- Paranoid "individual shows a generalized pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and observable emotions, and significant impulsiveness. Core issue is an inability to regulate emotions."
- Borderline "individual generally tends to interpret the actions of others as threatening; preoccupied with suspiciousness/paranoia. They are stuck between their need for others and their mistrust of others."
- Dependant "individual shows an extreme need to be taken care of that leads to fears of separation, and passive and clinging behavior. Core issue is the need to be parented by others (i.e. avoid growing up / becoming self-sufficient)."
- "I love being alone, but I hate being lonely"
- i require reassurance from others, i dont get it much though
- "unusually self aware"
- people say im cute, adorable, a sweetheart, kind and sweet. they also perceive me as friendly and helpful, i wont say i perceive myself as all those things but it does feel nice to be that in the eyes of others
- i am generally a quick eater, the bad part is getting stomachaches afterwards :p
- if i talk around you or with you alot and share alot of things with you, thats when you can tell im feeling very comfortable with you
- "submissive and gentle"
- it doesn't take that much to make me upset, annoyed or fed up.
- i enjoy doing some video editing sometimes, i have a youtube channel for that
- i feel alot of body dysmorphia, my body is blemished and abnormal
- I have dysgraphia, so in other words my handwriting is always ugly, i also hold the pen in a specific way that hurts my hand more and i cant really change it. its whatever, my handwriting is readable if you actually care to try and read it though.
- i have very shaky hands, unsure why. to me it seems like my muscles get quickly tired after literally any activity and start shaking although i can keep on going, yeah im very unfit
- "sometimes when talking about things, it stresses me the fuck out when people I like have the polar opposite opinion of me"
- "expressing and articulating myself has been very difficult, oftentimes what i want to say doesnt come out at all
communication is a struggle and getting whats in my brain out of my mouth is easier said than done, especially on the fly"
- "ive always struggled with my emotions, sensitivity to certain feelings, situations and senses, and how i understand myself and understand others
it takes me a bit longer to process emotions and information given to me"
- i always thought something is not right with me, moving differently than others, being more fidgety, sometimes lazy or unmotivated, not showing much emotion and thinking i dont try enough. i havent ever been diagnosed with a mental disorder and it seems like im not going to get it anytime soon and i hate that fact because i seem to be so sure theres something off with me in comparison to people around me and nobody really points out what i do!
- online i tend to write very long sentences which are very complicated and might in the end not make sense at all. can you tell by how i wrote this page? while i somewhat understand the point of my sentences other people might.. not understand them at all. ask me to rewrite the sentence again just for you
- sometimes when im feeling really really bad i might say very bad things, either that offend people around me, are straight up mean and rude are just "my opinions" but they are not so true since i was feeling very bad in the moment so i wasnt fully myself. im sometimes out of control and i feel like i should apologise for that
- i used to go to a psychologist and take anti depressants, but i stopped doing it since it didnt help at all, potentially regrettable but i dont believe he could help me anyway
- i LOVE examining and analysing other's creations like art and music and such things, especially if theyre my friend's work so i take an even closer look at it because im more interested. im very very good at doing that type of stuff, i can easily tell the person what flaws and upsides there are to their work, thats called criticism i think.
- i love associating certain characters with some of my friends, quite alot
- whenever i should say something i want to say something theres a good chance i might just... be afraid to do so..? i cant exactly describe the feeling but i just can't spit out what i want to say out of myself often, for example a teacher at school asks me a question and i think i know the answer but im not sure at all so i just awkwardly wait in silence hoping for any clue telling me if im right or not and then after all of that it appears that i was correct in my mind and i was sitting silent for no reason. it kinda sucks, like some kind of Ptsd where im afraid to say something because in the past i got mocked or felt bad for saying something incorrectly and it ended up the way it did? i have no idea
- i am quite a picky eater, i have a set amount of foods i usually eat and i dont rly try new things much
- i have tendencies to have my attention go many different ways during various activities, either when somebody else talks next to me, when i wanna do couple things at once but i should do just one or i just get a ton of thoughts during some activity. for example during certain classes when we're told to like read some text or listen to someone else read i will just get lost in my own thoughts, fidget with my limbs alot and maybe doodle random things in my notebook
- to be honest, often i just hate being a man. I just hate being manly and I can't accept the way I am physically although i don't think i could classify myself as trans.
- I tend to act self destructive and passive aggressive around others during and after a sudden shift in my mood (feeling worse than usual due to something). which can often result in bad things and has been so for a long time now, sorry whenever it happens. i have a hard time improving upon it.
(encountered character limit here LMAO)
- i've been fixated on a bunch of things when i was growing up, first it was space and stuff, then tanks and most recently i've been autistic about firearms, like every now and then
- throughout my life i've been showing symptons of autism and adhd alot (although no one irl really noticed) and they have been more visible in 2024 and forwards, i think theyre quite relevant when trying to come up with reasonings behind my personal issues
- i like complimenting certain people i like at random (even if i dont talk with them much) purely to show my appreciation for their being
- its really hard to get me into some specific things (even if i kinda like them) but once im into something you cant pry me away from it, same with not being able to pry me away from well.. not doing anything. Hard to Force me to do things although i require Force.
- i have relationship experience, but i am single, regrettable
- I often do things that unintentionally help others and never get a word for it, no thank you, no appreciation, no nothing. I literally and utterly glue things together so i make others feel better, and in result make myself feel better too, but that goes underappreciated and all that's appreciated by others is my presence. Seriously?
- i love taking care of others i love, it mentally fulfills me more than anything else
- i experience ALOT of something called "Selective Mutism" (by definition its an anxiety disorder characterized by someone's inability to speak in certain social settings, even though they can communicate normally in other situations)
- i might be ignorant (or maybe not just might but i am)
- compassionate eager to help people pleaser that does more harm to self and others than good to anyone
- i have a soft spot for animals, i cry easily
- one of the worst feelings for me is when i expect to be home alone when i get home or when someone just left the house but im not going to be home alone and someone's there, it breaks me
- did I say i fidget a decent bit?
- i work impulsively and some things are just out of my control it feels like
- i tend to feel like screaming "LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASEE" but also thinking "Please be with me..." at the same time
- im CLEARLY really really autistic about art, any sort of creative things and a decent bit about firearms and computers.
- i have a chronic porn addiction
- i might have some kind of hypersexuality, feels shit being aware of it
- i use music to isolate myself from my environment and at times even my mind
- i have huge issues with jealousy and envying others and its one of the things that happen quite often and lead to me feeling shit
- i've done self harm before, not to any severe degree or anything. wounds i've inflicted upon myself
were very surface level and it was basically a short lived pain to take the edge off and then hide it for a bit later, i dont do it often though. maybe once every month or longer.
- im self destructive
- i overexaggerate things alot
- im very subconsciously dismissive (or ignorant im not sure), its a big deal and it happens to make me unable to change to be a better person at many things that are quite important
- i think i've experienced a lot of something called "emotional neglect", I feel estranged from my family, if any of them died i wouldn't shed a single tear, i often don't feel loved even if I know I am. they kinda fail at providing me comfort and happiness. maybe its my fault i dont know
- i pick my nose a lot even though i know i shouldn't
- i like level editing in games if its accessible enough to me, i made some levels in geometry dash, plazma burst 2, tanks the crusades and such. i think i cant really do the same in rhythm games but i like playing with gimmicks
- big one, my social status stands as, 5-6 "Friends", there are some issues with every one, no friends irl, no one there for me, feeling very lonely every day. Im single i went through a break up in dec 2024, its the roughest shit ive ever went through because i felt love for the first time in my life in dec 2023 and i even got to meet my ex irl but that all fell apart due to my core issues and im not around that person anymore even though they changed my life forever. Memories torment me every day but I must stay strong.
- i cant swim
- i've never ridden a bike by myself
- i dont really have "favorites" in anything, when people ask what games you play? what music you listen to? what do you do as a hobby? etc, i cant answer. whats your favorite game? cant answer. whats your fav food? cant answer.
- i attend an IT based high school, I have no plans for my future and there's no light ahead of me
- i crave physical touch but i have a complete zero of it, i feel like a hug would save me
- my most used preferred colors in things are usually black, blue, green, blurple/purple
- i have an innate skin disease called "keratosis pilaris", its completely harmless and it just makes my skin uglier along with making stuff similiar to pimples appear more often and across my entire body, especially on my thighs, butt and arms
- my eye color is "blue gray", i think i have it from my mom
- my typing speed varies around 100-120 wpm
- i know basics of html coding, from school
- i use krita for drawing, gimp and paint.net for basic image editing, vlc as a media player, sharex for screenshots, flux for reducing eyestrain from my monitor, medal to record my games and brave browser to browse the internet
- im bad at cleaning, the amount of times ive been scolded for not cleaning well enough or i had problems because i did something wrong is enormous
- im genuinely terrible at counting, i tend to mess up by 1 or 2 when counting numbers bigger than 10. seriously
- i dont even remember the full english alphabet
- very straight forward and direct
- i CANNOT answer questions like: "What games do you play?" "What music do you like?" "What movies do you like?" "What are your hobbies?" "What is your favorite [insert something here]?". I just cant.